| Where
is God in the midst of this change, uninvited, unanticipated? I
want to feel the presence, the comfort that He once provided; return to
the reassurance that life, my life, is on the right path, going in the
right direction. But I can’t find those comfortable feelings. Instead I now feel alone and uncertain. A chill replaces warmth. The sure path has become uncertain, bordered by a sense of fear. The fear arrived insidiously but eventually I sensed the weight of it. Combined with cumulative emotions, it is oppressive and can no longer be pushed down into the recesses of my mind, kept at bay or denied. What is this change, this disruption about? “Out of the depths I have cried to Thee, Oh Lord. Hear my prayer.” I am taken to another of those “Oh God…” moments when this is all I can utter in my pain. It’s then that I am reminded of times past when I felt as lost. I immersed myself in the Psalms and found consolation in them. Through my tears, I begin to see more clearly and my fear subsides. A calm reassurance flows over me and allows an opening for hope. When hope has taken hold I know that I will prevail and then realize that, once again, I have been saved by Grace. |
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